Back to daily journaling. How does one get to inner peace?
A family member (NOT Mitchell) was mad and has yet to work it out with me.
I needed to work it out myself, didn’t want the energy swirling around in my head anymore, and so painted and wrote about it in my Endings and Beginnings journal.
I find getting things out on paper is almost as good as working them out in person in
one way — Mind keeps running it around and around then you put it on paper and
it is as if it says, “Okay, said that already, several times in several ways” and shuts up.
It doesn’t take away the hurt — that may take time — but it stops monkeymind cold.
Mad, meaning terribly angry, not a small tiff, is akin to madness in so many ways.
You lose your mind, and if you don’t come back then you have possibly lost it for good (?).
Mad is a closed heart. Mad is staying in your monkeymind.
Mad is not allowing tathagatagarbha to reveal itself.
Mad is forgetting you love the one in front of you, even if you are pissed.
From a post on the Lojong:
“Tathagatagarbha is the seed of awakening present in yourself, or, the Buddha within. Mine dwelled in the woundings, which was covered up over many years of defenses and booze, and knee-jerk reactions. It was vulnerability, a soft spot, and in a world of defended angry people, it was hard to let that soft spot lead.”
This family member stopped at a well-developed ego and never let go to explore
how letting that soft spot lead was a good thing, and would not kill him.
He is alive so I won’t publish what I wrote. It is my only rule.