For years I wrote religiously every day in my journal, writing exercises if nothing came to mind, a la Natalie Goldberg. Committing to the A-to-Z Challenge (on 3 blogs) reminded me of that: there is something joyful in discipline chosen to move your life along. Blogging has replaced some of my journaling, especially when I write it raw, getting the thoughts down and seeing where they will go, titling it, “Journaling Sumthin'” — and here goes, raw writing.
Of late, I am a bit blue, and this is in part due to what is happening in our country politically and environmentally, loss of hope, deaths around me, disconnection, friends from afar, moving slower. I long for the stamina to work 20 hours and get 3 hours sleep, moving a project along in a frenzy. My stamina is no longer there for 16 hour days and frenzy feels a bit like a plod. I consider naps around 3pm every day, and the sofa in our office calls my name.
My 3am sleeplessness has not changed. I used to take advantage of it, and get up to roam and work on creative projects. While I vow to stay off the computer during the wee hours (electronics seem to stimulate your brain differently) I can crochet or knit, and have taken to sketching with Mitchell asleep by my side. Unfortunately this may mean sketching from imagination, from a photo dimly lit, or whatever may be peeking from covers: hands, feet, tail (cats not Mitchell’s.) Sharing these early morning images will be difficult, as they are silly or too personal, and my bed-mates may object (Jai won’t put his paw-print on a release form.)
And there are other changes:
- We need to take more time off from working in our year to rejuvenate our stamina.
- I am woefully out of shape from the arthritis, and it is time to painfully begin to move my keister for my overall health.
- I have come to grips with not having a consistent large painting space, and so instead of saying “when” I am saying “small and now.” Working smaller means a station behind my office workspace, where I can sketch in the middle of the day if time permits. Changes, moving from acrylic to watercolors and pens and watercolor crayons and pencils.
- Diet: I can’t eat everything anymore without consequences. Thank god/dess I can eat hot peppers, onions and garlic — but wheat and diary (unless sheep or goat), and salty crunchy (I am a salty-crunchy addict) is O-U-T.
Okay, that’s, it, Journaling Sumthin’!